King of Duelists
by Kitt Chaos
Summary: Blue Eyes and Dark Magician face each other across a dueling field. Seto and Yugi are their 'cards'. Which one, Dragon or Magician, will claim the title, King of Duelists?
1. Chapter 1

Yu-Gi-Oh! and all its characters, are the legal and intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi and any entities he has granted legal rights to. I claim no rights at all with my story. I greatly admire and feel gratitude to Mr. Takahashi for the amazing story and characters of Yu-Gi-Oh!

I humbly beg the pardon of Yu-Gi-Oh! purists, as I am basing this story on the Americanized version of the Duel Monsters story as aired by the KidsWB.

**The King of Duelists**

"Play the damn card, already!" growled the dragon, sitting back on a loop of his massive tail and looking down at the cards in his hands. He was careful to mind his claws, lest they shred his precious cards.

"Tsk, tsk!" remonstrated his opponent, wagging a finger playfully. "Such language, Blue!"

"I'm bored with this duel. My unstoppable Seto has driven your life-points down to a paltry," the dragon lifted a pair of small round glasses from the very end of his snout up to peer through the lenses at the amber, glowing numbers floating eerily over his opponent's purple, pointy-helmeted head, "...twenty! You should just concede this duel so I can go back to my nap. Your puny Yugi is no match for my peerless Seto Kaiba!"

The Dark Magician, for Blue-Eyes White Dragon's opponent was none other, yawned theatrically. "How many duels have you won against me, Blue?"

The dragon growled inarticulately for an answer.

"Exactly. One would think you'd get tired of losing all the time." Dark Magician examined the nails of his left hand before rubbing them briskly against the fabric of the tabard at his right shoulder.

"Not all the time. I _have_ won two duels from you."

The Dark Magician reached out and patted a coil of the dragon's tail (where it curved completely around him) in such a solicitous fashion that his action charged right over the boundary of kindly gesture into becoming down-right insulting condescension. "Whatever fantasy gets you through your day, you dear old thing!"

Blue-Eyes blustered in apoplectic confusion.

"I play 'Cockeyed Optimism' on my ever-cheerful Yugi Motou." Dark Magician beamed as, on the dueling field, Yugi's shoulders pulled back and he stood up straight and proud, nearly topping five feet. "That ends my turn."

Blue-Eyes snorted. "That's it? That's your move?" The Dark Magician nodded.

"HA! I play 'Impressive Trench Coat Flare' on my all-powerful Seto, making his attack power," the dragon lifted his cheaters to peer through the lenses again, "double that of your pathetic Yugi!"

Seto too, stood straight and tall, though in his case it was more impressive than Yugi's version of 'tall'. The oddly designed hem of his trench coat flared out, appearing as if it lengthened somehow and fluttered dramatically in a non-existent breeze. (Quite honestly though, it reminded one of a peacock mantling the feathers of its tail restlessly. An albino peacock. An _ugly_ albino peacock. With a smirk. And a 'tude. Oodles and oodles of un-peacock-like 'tude.)

The Dark Magician lifted an eyebrow in a "yeah, so?" gesture, appearing decidedly un-impressed.

"Then he casts 'Crushing Despondency' on your sniveling duelist!" Blue-Eyes snarled. The Dark Magician sat back sharply at that, evidently stunned as Yugi's smile faltered and broke. His duelist's lower lip even quivered. The look the supreme spell-caster shot his draconian opponent was sheer poison. A lesser monster (and even some duelists, if truth be told) would have been carbonized on the spot (or would wish they had been).

"That has always been your mistake, scaly one -- may your next molt itch fiercely like the stings of the bites of a thousand-and-one angry sand fleas and last a full forty days and nights! -- picking on my favorite duelist, Yugi Motou!"

The Blue-Eyes White Dragon rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I believe I've won this duel, so..."

"Oh? But Yugi is still there," Dark Magician noted mildly, ignoring the fact that Yugi was now desperately treading water in the small lake his copious tears had become.

"If I just wait, at this rate, he'll drown himself," Blue-Eyes noted.

"I play Téa, and activate her 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech - Level One'", Dark Magician called out. Téa appeared above the field, let out a small squeal as she was dropped into Yugi's lake of tears and began treading water next to Yugi.

She immediately began telling him all about the power of friendship, and the fact that friendship was like a fluffy bunny, and that no one could possibly hate friendship, with the exception of Seto Kaiba, since he was such a cranky, mean old spoot, and evil people who'd abuse kittens if given half a chance. Her speech was entirely over-wrought with floribund expressions (expressions that _should_ die of abject embarrassment the moment she uttered them, because they are simply that ridiculous, but somehow exist with a hideously tenacious hold on life granted by Téa's absolute belief in the nonsense she was spouting) about the value of friendship, love and fluffy bunnies (well, not so much the fluffy bunnies, but honestly! She's always only a few words away from declaring that fluffy bunnies could end strife, famine and war; and that fuzzy feeling you have all over your teeth when you first wake up in the morning).

Yugi stopped weeping and the lake of his tears magically dried up.

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Author's notes -

Reviews, comments and constructive criticisms are always welcome! Please feel free to email me also if you see something awkward that needs to be clarified or fixed. I need all the help I can get.


	2. Chapter 2

**King of Duelists – Chapter Two**

"Well, that was annoying of you. Especially playing _her_. Her speeches always make me break out in hives," Blue Eyes complained. He wasn't kidding. Bright pink and purple spots erupted all over his scaly, gleaming, white hide. Dark Magician grinned quite unrepentantly.

"Harumph!" Blue-Eyes harumphed. His claws poised over his cards indecisively. Finally, he pounced on his chosen card and slammed it down on the dueling field in irritation. "Seto will make your cowardly Yugi whimper with his 'Intimidating Monologue'! It takes a round to charge to its full effect, but we can start listening to him now."

Seto immediately thrust his hips out even more than they were usually (it's a wonder he doesn't over-balance and fall over backwards, or simply snap his spine when he does that) and started pontificating at length about how skilled and powerful he was compared to wimpy Yugi. A somewhat puzzled frown crossed Yugi's face. He rolled his eyes when Seto took a deep breath and ranted on.

"Oh, geez, Blue. Now you've gone and set that pompous buffoon of yours off on purpose!" Dark Magician groaned. "It doesn't intimidate my stalwart Yugi -- it just bores him, and irritates me."

Blue-Eyes sat back on his tail again and purred. (Yes, _purred_. I know he's a dragon. I want him to purr. I think it's cute. Deal.)

"Oh, that's the end of my turn," Blue-Eyes noted. "Lovely, isn't he? Bring tears to my eyes whenever Seto lists off his many accomplishments." Blue-Eyes heaved a contented sigh. "Just wait until next round when he can attack!"

"Insufferable windbag," Dark Magician muttered. "I can see how 'accomplished' he must be to inherit riches and a successful corporation. It must take consummate skill to achieve such greatness!"

Blue-Eyes beamed, then narrowed his, uhm, blue eyes. "Oh, you are being sarcastic. Grrr!"

"Well, since you liked Téa so much, how about I bring another of Yugi's friends to the field? I play Joey and activate his 'Inspiring Monologue'. This also automatically advances Téa's 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech' to Level Two."

Yugi's face actually beamed light, bright enough to be noticeable, as Joey appeared and began to tell Yugi to hang in there as Joey knew that he, Joey, was a good duelist, nay, a great duelist, trained by none other than Yugi and that he, Joey, could take Kaiba out therefore Yugi would have no problem at all, as long as he believed in himself. Why, Joey knew that Yugi could defeat Kaiba with nothing more than belief in himself, the heart of the cards, and a crumpled bubble gum wrapper. A Duel Monsters Deck? Pshaw! Cards? Yugi didn't need 'em! Everything Yugi needed was in his own heart, Joey was certain!

Téa, not to be outdone, gained the second level of her 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech' where she rhapsodized about the strong friendship between Yugi and Joey so much that sparkles began to dance all around her. Faced with the combined force of Yugi and Joey's shining citadel of friendship, even those unfortunately unhappy people who would abuse kittens if given half a chance would see the error of their friendship-deprived ways and reach out toward the supreme power of fluffy bunnies and friendship. Only Seto Kaiba, in all the world, could resist the power of Yugi and Joey's example of perfect friendship, since he was, you know, Seto, and doomed to be cranky, without humor and remain friendless all his days, or until he, you know, embraced the power found only in friendship and fluffy bunnies.

On the field, Seto turned decidedly green. Faced with the combined might of Joey's 'Inspiring Monologue' and Téa's 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech, Level Two' his own monologue faltered as he dashed to the side to hurl into the bushes. Seto stalked back onto the field afterward, stood up straight, regained his 'Impressive Trench Coat Flare' pose and effects (for that card was still active on the game board between Blue-Eyes and Dark Magician) thrust his hips out again and resumed his 'Intimidating Monologue'. Not that it could be heard about Joey's ranting about Yugi's skill, and Téa's joyful assertions about the power of friendship (and fluffy bunnies) in general, and Joey and Yugi's friendship in particular.

"Aren't you going to attack?" Blue-Eyes demanded above the din from their respective duelists.

"No, I'm good. I don't want to ruin the surprise for next round by interrupting them now. Besides, Seto lost his lunch. You lose one hundred points for each duelist active on my side of the field. That's three hundred points, just in case you were wondering."

"I know how to multiply!" Blue-Eyes roared. "Well, mostly. I'm useless if I have to carry anything into the tens column."

Dark Magician beamed and pounced on the opportunity. "We know, we know." He patted Blue-Eyes' tail in an overly kindly fashion again. "Never really got the hang of math, did you? That's okay. Kuriboh can help you. He's particularly good at multiplication."

"Kwee!"

"Get that useless fluff-ball away from me before I flambé it!" Blue-Eyes growled. "You know I'm allergic to it!" On top of the pink and purple spots already "decorating" Blue-Eyes' hide, neon yellow stars appeared.

"Kweee-eee-eee-EEE!" Kuriboh narrowed his eyes and whirled around Blue-Eyes' head in a dizzying blur of offended Kuriboh pride before disappearing. Blue-Eyes sneezed and turned pink. The purple spots and yellow stars (and his blue eyes, of course) stood out dramatically against his unnatural new hue.

"Just like last duel!" Blue Eyes complained. "No more summoning other monsters. This duel is between you and me!"

Dark Magician affected an innocent air. "I wasn't summoning other monsters to upset you. I merely thought to give you the aid of my friend Kuriboh's excellent math skills in keeping score."

"Thank you (I think). But it's not needed," Blue-Eyes stated. He sneezed again and turned green. "Bother! It always takes me a couple of days to get the Kuriboh pollen out of my sinuses!" he groaned.

"You could always blow your nose into one of Seto's silk bed sheets," Dark Magician offered brightly. "While you go do that, perhaps ponder your next turn? My turn is over."

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Author's notes -

Reviews, comments and constructive criticisms are always welcome! Please feel free to email me also if you see something awkward that needs to be clarified or fixed. I need all the help I can get.


	3. Chapter 3

**King of Duelists – Chapter Three**

"Fine. You keep summoning Yugi's annoying brat-pack, but you forget Seto has friends of his own!" Blue-Eyes declared. He placed a new duelist card down and Mokuba appeared on the field. "Mokuba gains an additional five hundred points whenever he listens to his older brother's 'Intimidating Monologue', as long as it's not directed toward him, that is, and as you know your wretched Yugi is the target this time!"

Dark Magician merely crossed his arms and smirked faintly. The Dragon sneezed again, turning black all over, becoming a Blue-Eyes Black Dragon. With green clovers and yellow moons. (Apologies to Lucky Charms, of course!)

"Seto's 'Intimidating Monologue' is fully charged. Attack, my duelist! Crush Yugi's idiotic optimism and win this duel!"

Seto advanced toward Yugi, sneering and haranguing him for being weak and useless. Despite the bolstering effects of Téa's 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech - Level Two' and Joey's 'Inspiring Monologue', Dark Magician knew that Seto's attack _was_ affecting Yugi. Trusting in the heart of his cards (well, duelists) the Purple Prestidigitator did nothing.

Joey jumped forward, poked his finger at Seto's chest, and started yelling in the Supreme Kaiba's face for picking on Yugi. After challenging Seto to pick on someone his own size, Blue's duelist did just that, shoving Wheeler away hard enough to send him sprawling in the dust, before stalking back toward his side of the field, muttering about wasting a perfectly good 'Intimidating Monologue' on a second-rate, hack duelist like Wheeler. Mokuba's special effect 'Little Brother Hero Worship' automatically began, as he started to sooth Seto's irritation at having his attack misdirected.

"Grr!" Blue grumbled before selecting two cards and placing them face-down on the field. "It's your turn." He sneezed again and turned bright pink. Oddly coordinating red and white roses dotted his bubblegum-colored hide. The unrepentant magician was hard pressed not to laugh at his scaly opponent.

"Excellent," Dark Magician said. He merely watched as a new duelist (well, in this story, that's his official term) appeared on the field. Tristan, summoned by the special effect created by having both Téa and Joey in play at the same time reached a hand down to help Joey to his feet, applying a noogie along the way. Both Joey and Tristan pushed and shoved each other playfully as the returned to their assigned positions protecting Yugi from a direct attack.

Meanwhile, Téa's 'Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech' advanced to its third and final level. Joey forgot all about getting tossed on his backside by Seto, Yugi's smile tried to rival the gleam of the sun and Tristan stood just a little apart (so he could look at everyone at once) crossed his arms and nodded in a self-satisfied way. Level Three was so powerful that even Mokuba looked up into Seto's face with a hopeful light in his eyes. If only Seto could be more friendly, if only he weren't so strict and hard on himself -- Mokuba's expression dimmed, for he could see that Seto was truly immune to the effects of Téa's speech. He fisted his hands, pushed his own reaction to Téa's speech aside in imitation of his big brother's willpower, and stepped closer to the seething tower of irritation Seto Kaiba had become. In front of the Dragon, one of the face-down cards turned over. 'Brothers' Bond' inspired Mokuba to start praising Seto and taunting the others for not realizing what a great man his big brother was.

Téa's Speech faltered, just a bit, as did Joey's Inspiring Monologue. Tristan jumped in to fill the gap created by their hesitation (for really, all of them rather liked Mokuba, despite how awful his big brother was) with his 'Snarky Support Dude Discourse' that was somewhat weaker than both Téa's Fluffy Bunny Friendship Speech (of any level) or Joey's Inspiring Monologue. It did have the effect of advancing Joey's monologue to the next level where Joey's wild claims about Yugi's dueling skill made the quiet boy blush a bit and start demurring at the string of non-stop (and somewhat ridiculous) compliments. Tristan's 'Snarky Support Dude Discourse' as usual, consisted of short, usually humorous zings more often than not aimed at Joey. In and of itself, the Discourse was weak, but when added to Joey's Monologue, now Level Two, it had the effect of counteracting 'Mokuba's Taunting'.

"Now that all three of Yugi's friends are on the field, I can play this card," Dark Magician said, speaking loudly to be heard over the din of three of his duelists talking all at once. He placed a card face up in his magic section. "'Burger World Dollar Day Feast' gives me two hundred and fifty life points for each duelist on my side of the field. That's one thousand points, Blue," the Magician patted the Dragon's tail kindly again as his duelists cried out in delight and began to eat the massive mound of burgers, fries and sodas that appeared floating before them.

"I hope they choke," the Blue-Eyes White Dragon muttered crossly. "I had you this game!"

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Author's notes -

Reviews, comments and constructive criticisms are always welcome! Please feel free to email me also if you see something awkward that needs to be clarified or fixed. I need all the help I can get.


End file.
